Not everyone gets a say in what you do. You don’t have to listen to everyone’s opinions. Learning to trust yourself is a foundation of presence and impact – living life by committee is exhausting and will lead you nowhere.
Here are five thoughts on how to banish the committee from your life (whatever your circumstances):
1. Allow yourself thinking time to consider important decisions or issues – and I mean really think them over, rather than panic. Weigh up the pros and cons. Write them out. Go for a walk and talk aloud to yourself. What aren’t you seeing? What are you focussing on too closely? What’s in your peripheral vision that you’re currently blind to?
2. Trust your gut. What does your own intuition say? Plenty of people may have opinions, but there’s a deep, innate knowledge and intelligence inside yourself. Listen to it.
3. Gather a circle of trusted confidants (and limit their number) who you can safely run ideas by if you need a sounding board. Ideally these will be people skilled in asking you questions that help you to reflect and think, rather than telling you what to do.
4. Share wisely. Not everyone has to know everything about you all the time. You get to control your narrative. Some subjects aren’t up for discussion.
5. Just because someone is close to you, doesn’t mean their opinion is any more valid or relevant or right, than a random strangers might be. You don’t HAVE to listen/accept because the other person is your mum, or partner! You can read about a useful model to help you understand this idea here, Managing Your People Pleasing
If you’d like some help with this, then consider a Leadership Day Retreat with me.
In a nutshell – one whole day spent with me here in Lincolnshire (lovely hotel location, great lunch, my expertise all to yourself, copies of my books and a journal), then follow up support including coaching sessions via Zoom and email support. You can read more details about the days here Leadership Retreat Days.
I’m Susan Ritchie, an author, leadership and executive coach and trainer. My second book, Strategies for Being Visible: 14 Profile-Raising Ideas for Emerging Female Leaders is now available as a paperback, an audiobook and for the Kindle reader.
If you’d like to be a better, stronger leader, and a happier, more fulfilling career, Click Here To Email Me